


Change Your Mind

by LilyK



Category: The Sentinel
Genre: Domestic, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-06
Updated: 2018-06-06
Packaged: 2019-05-18 19:06:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14858534
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LilyK/pseuds/LilyK
Summary: Since things seem to be a bit off-kilter, Simon orders Jim and Blair to visit a counselor.





	Change Your Mind

If you want to be somebody else,  
If you're tired of fighting battles with yourself  
If you want to be somebody else  
Change your mind  
\--sister hazel-- 

\----------------------------------

“Jim, man. Wait up.” Blair hurried to catch up to his partner, whose long legs left Blair far behind in just a few minutes. 

With a sigh, Jim stopped and turned. “We're going to be late,” he snapped. 

“Do not take that tone with me,” Blair groused. “This isn't my fault!” 

Jim scowled, waited for Blair to catch up, then he turned and stomped toward the sliding doors of the twelve-story building. 

“You know that Simon ordered us to do this. Do you want to talk about it?” Blair asked, trying to be solicitous, but quickly growing irritated. 

“No.” 

“Fine. Why would I expect anything different?” Then Blair clamped his lips together and entered the lobby first, with Jim slowly following. 

“Now he's dragging his feet,” Blair muttered. He stopped next to the directory and after a few seconds perusal, he hit the elevator's button for the fourth floor. “Damned pig-headed, tight-lipped, skinny-assed...” Blair stopped his quiet rantings when the hand that wrapped around the back of his neck squeezed a little tightly. 

“Save it, Sandburg,” Jim growled. 

“Fine,” Blair repeated in a clipped tone. “Be a dick. See if I care.” 

Blair shrugged off Jim's touch, strode into the elevator and hit the fourth floor button just as Jim entered, barely squeezing through the doors as they closed. 

\---------------------------------------

“So tell me, Detective Ellison, just why do you think your captain ordered you and Detective Sandburg to come and speak with me?” The doctor smiled pleasantly at his new patients. 

Jim's eyes quickly flicked over the man. He was middle-aged, dressed in a neat brown tweed sports coat, white shirt, rust colored tie and tan slacks. He looked friendly and confident. Jim tried to find a reason to dislike the psychiatrist, but his Sentinel instincts told him that this was a good person. 

Blair returned the man's pleasant smile with one of his own. He remained silent, however. There was no way he was launching into a discussion of Sentinels and Guides to this stranger, no matter how much his first gut reaction told him that he could trust the doctor.

Dr. Doyle's smile didn't dim, but when he picked up his pen and started making a few notes, Jim's eyes narrowed. 

“How can you take notes? We haven't told you a thing,” Jim said testily. 

Dr. Doyle shrugged. “Even your silence speaks volumes.” 

When Blair chuckled, Jim cast his partner a cold look. “What?” he snapped. 

Blair shrugged. “Nothing, man. Absolutely nothing.” 

“You think you have a clue, Chief? Just because you took a few classes in psychology in college doesn't make you an expert.” 

“A bit hostile, aren't we, Detective Ellison?” Dr. Doyle asked. 

Jim's head swiveled quickly and he focused intently on the psychiatrist. “Hostile? Not in the least! What do I have to be hostile about?”

Dr. Doyle laid down his pen and leaned back in his chair. “You don't seem to be happy that you've been all but commanded to speak with me. Your captain tells me that your behavior has been very – unsettling lately.” 

“In what way?” Jim demanded. 

“He says you've been quite short and often rude to your coworkers. From what I understand that isn't normally like you. He said you're not a big talker but you're usually a fair and honest man. He feels something's bothering you, and he wants you to get it out; talk about it. He's worried about you and your partner. Captain Banks is afraid that either or both of you will be hurt if you're mind's not on the game.” 

“I'll be fine. And so will Blair,” Jim said stonily. 

“So you do care about your partner?” 

“What kind of a question is that? Of course I do. Blair's my best...” Jim straightened in his seat. “This is none of your damned business.” 

“Detective... May I call you Jim?” At Jim's nonchalant shrug, Dr. Doyle smiled. “Jim, I want you to know that nothing you say here will go beyond these doors. I firmly believe in doctor/patient confidentiality, and I assure you I will honor my oath. When your captain ordered you to speak with a mental health authority, you asked for an independent evaluation from a non-departmental psychiatrist. Your request was honored, and I'm here to help. Please don't waste my time, your time, Detective Sandburg's time, and the department's insurance funds. What do you say?” 

Jim shifted uncomfortably and spared a quick glance at Blair, who sat silently but attentively. When their eyes met, Blair smiled and nodded reassuringly. Jim let himself be drawn into the blue depths for a few moments, savoring the comfort he felt being hear his Guide, before he turned back to Dr. Doyle. 

Gritting his teeth, Jim swallowed and opened his mouth before he abruptly closed it. Doyle poured a glass of water which he passed across the desk to Jim, who took the glass and sipped the cool liquid. 

“Maybe I could chat with Detective Sandburg for a few moments while you gather your thoughts, Detective Ellison?” 

At Jim's nod, Doyle turned his attention to Blair. “So how long have you been a detective?”

“Just a few months, but I was Jim's ride-along for three years before I went to the academy.” 

“Oh? How interesting. Why were you a – ride-along?”

“I was working on my dissertation. Closed police societies. I observed Jim and wrote my dissertation based on my observations.” 

“So you're Dr. Sandburg now. Forgive me, I didn't know.” 

“It's cool. I'm a detective first, and a doctor of Anthropology second.” 

“So why would a doctor of Anthropology what to be a detective?” 

Blair's long-practiced words slid out smoothly. “I was always fascinated by police work, ever since I was a kid. I like studying people, and I find the concept of the Thin Blue Line very intriguing. So I combined the two. Now I'm a detective who can still study people. I see all kinds of them every day. The good, the bad, and everything in between. It's a perfect world for me.” 

Dr. Doyle nodded, a smile tugging at his lips. “Very interesting. Detective Ellison, what about you?” 

Jim shrugged. He opened his mouth, and the words he intended to come out suddenly morphed into something entirely different. Instead of saying what he had intended to say -- “Sandburg's the best partner I've had the privilege of working with on the Cascade police force” -- what came out as a complete surprise to all in the room was, “I'm in love with Sandburg.” 

The silence was deafening. Dr. Doyle sat quietly, looking from Blair to Jim and back again. Jim shrank down in his seat and crossed his arms. Blair's mouth fell open, and he sat in absolute shock. 

Dr. Doyle recovered first. “Ah,” he said. Jim glared. Blair stared. Dr. Doyle cleared his throat. “Does Detective Sandburg know that you have these feelings for him?” 

Jim swallowed and licked his lips. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger and his jaw muscle twitched. “No.” 

“Ah,” Dr. Doyle repeated. “Detective Sandburg? May I call you Blair?” 

Blair nodded mutely. 

“Good. Blair, how do you feel about this – revelation?”

“I... I... “ 

“Oh, God,” Jim whispered, seeing Blair's pale face and surprised look. “You're pissed, aren't you? I'm sorry, Chief.” Jim started to rise, but Blair's hand on his arm forestalled him. 

“Jim, please...” 

“This doesn't have to change anything, Blair. Please...” Jim turned his face away and clenched his teeth together. 

Dr. Doyle said, “Blair, how do you feel that you now know that Jim has expressed this sentiment? Take your time and be honest.” 

Blair looked at Jim before turning to Dr. Doyle and asking, “Do you think Jim and I could have a few minutes? Please?” 

Doyle smiled. “Of course. I'll just go and – visit the men's room.” 

“Thank you.” Blair waited until the man left the room before he turned to his partner. “Jim? Please look at me.” 

Jim very slowly turned to face his partner. His face was a mask of stone, but his eyes pleaded with Blair for understanding. 

Moving to the edge of his seat, Blair put a hand on Jim's arm. “Listen, I know you didn't mean for that to happen, but why didn't you tell me?” At Jim's shrug, Blair sighed. “Are you embarrassed? Ashamed? Grossed out? After all, I'm not exactly the prize catch.” Blair lifted a shoulder and cocked his head. “You could do a lot bet-” 

“No!” 

Blair froze. “Jim?” 

“It's true.” 

“Okay.” 

“Okay? I've just ruined our partnership and all you can say is okay?” Jim looked away. 

“Ruined our partnership? What in the heck are you talking about? You haven't ruined a thing. This explains a heck of a lot. No wonder you've been a bear to live with lately. Sexual frustra-” 

“Sandburg!” 

“What? You don't want me... “that way”?” Blair said with a smile, his hands making quotation marks in the air. “Because, man, that would be a damned shame.” 

“What?” Jim whispered. “What?”

“I said that would be a damned shame.” 

“I know what you said, but... You can't possibly...” Jim again fell silent. 

“I couldn't possibly what, Jim?” Blair asked quietly. “Couldn't love you? Get a clue, Ellison. You and I have been living like a married couple for the past couple of years, in case you hadn't noticed.” 

“We have?” 

Blair nodded. “When was the last time either of us dated? When was the last time we spent any amount of time with anybody else other than with each other? Sure, we hang with Simon or Rafe or H, but we always end up at home, with each other. We eat together. We clean together. We work together. We do laundry together. The only thing we haven't done is consummated this", his hand waved through the air, "...union.” He grinned. 

“You're serious.” 

“Yes.” 

“So – now what?”

“Hell, man. I don't have a clue. You're a veteran police officer. I'm a rookie. If you're exposed as “gay”, you'll probably still have your job. Me? I'd be tossed out of there so fast your head will spin.” 

“You'd leave me?”

“Leave you? No, Jim. I could never leave you, but coming out at the station might not be such a good idea. It's bad enough a lot of the other officers know I got my shield under what could be considered extenuating circumstances. They already know I received special treatment. Can you imagine the fallout if everybody finds out you and I are a couple?” 

Jim considered this for a few moments before he slowly nodded. “Simon wanted you in the department. Besides, he wouldn't mind. You know, about us.” 

“Yeah, Simon's a good guy, but he's only one captain in a city full of captains. If they split us up, it's bad news. I can't be a cop without you, Jim. I just can't.” 

Jim finally smiled. “Me, neither. I can't be anything without you,” he added softly. 

Blair's face lit up. “Wow. That's the nicest thing anybody's ever said to me. We have a lot to talk about, don't we?” 

Jim smiled. “Yes, we do,” he said softly. “We. I like it. Makes me feel...” He abruptly dropped his head; his emotions were raging right now, and he was a bit unsettled. 

“Feel loved? Wanted? Part of a team?” Blair offered. 

Jim raised his head, his eyes showing his relief. “You always know.” 

Blair smiled and shrugged. 

“What do you say-” 

The knock at the door interrupted Jim's next words. Dr. Doyle entered and took his seat. “So,” he said. “What have we decided?” 

Jim rose and reached out a hand to latch onto Blair's shirt. “We've decided to run off to Vegas and get married.” Tugging on Blair's arm, he led his partner to the door and opened it. Turning to the surprised doctor, he added, “Thanks. Send the bill to Banks.” 

Blair laughed. “Yeah. Thanks. We'll send you a postcard.” 

\---------------------------

Doyle sat in shocked silence until the door closed. Then he reached over and grabbed the telephone. Punching in number 10 on his speed dial, he sat back and said, “Simon? It's Ray. It worked... Yeah, like a charm... You owe me big time for this one... You and I know I'm your golfing partner, but they don't! They claim they're running off to Vegas to get married, but I think they're going home and ah, discuss their relationship... They seemed like nice fellows. I'm glad it looks like it's working out... What? It's a deal... Meet you at the country club at 11 am this Sunday. You're paying for the first round and for the golf cart. Oh, and lunch too... See you then!” With a satisfied smile, he hung up the phone. 

The End


End file.
